Smoking memories

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On the roof As I mentioned before, everyone smoked in my family. I started smoking at age 18, which means that I fought my environment, but when I started, I became a real addict.
I quit smoking twice. The first time was during a trip in Egypt, that I took with my friend Liliane. I remember going to an Egyptian doctor when I started coughing my lungs out. For three solid days, I was just too sick to even think of smoking and I was clever enough to quit for the first time. It wasn’t difficult at all then.
The second time was just awful. I think it was in June 1975 and I experienced all kinds of withdrawal symptoms. I should certainly have waited for the end of the schoolyear, because years later, I met a former pupil of mine and as I am hopeless at faces and didn’t recognise her, she reminded me of the time when she was my pupil by saying

I’m sure you’ll remember when I tell you that it was the year when you quit smoking!

And she was right, I did remember! I must have been in a foul mood for HER to remember.

Years later, in 1984, I was pregnant with my daughter Julie and pretty scared at the idea of giving birth.
And I had a dream:

I was starting to experience labour pains and my husband drove me to hospital. When I got there, they took me to a birthing room and made me lie down. The pains were so bad that I told Roland I just couldn’t take it.
Please go and buy me a pack of cigarettes.
And there, in dreamland, off he went for the cigarettes.
I lit one, and it was the best cigarette ever! It was one of these incredibly real dreams. I could feel myself inhaling the smoke. And it felt so good. And no nurse around to stop me! 😉

Nine years without a cigarette, and I was still dreaming about it. I’ll never touch one again. I know I’d go back to addiction straight away.

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8 thoughts on “Smoking memories

  1. I can relate to smoking in a dream. Although it has been some ten years since I have quit, there were times in the immediate years after quitting that I dreamed about smoking. In the dreams I would always be sneaking a cigarette as if my sub-conscious was trying to outwit my conscious. And….I have to admit similarly to you, it was one damn good cigarette each time I smoked one. 😀

    Quitting of course was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I can hardly stand to be around someome now who is smoking because it smells absolutely horrific. Even that seems weird given the fact of how much I enjoyed smoking at the time I was smoking.

    PS…Hope you are enjoying your holiday! 🙂

  2. I don’t know how I never became a smoker…I had two parents and a husband who were all heavy smokers; but I just never got into it….I didn’t like the taste in my mouth the one time I thought I’d see what the big deal was. That’s interesting since I think I have somewhat of an addictive personality. God knows I have my addictions with food.

    I can only say how happy I am that you have been smoke free for all these years Claude. What a huge favor you did for yourself.

  3. I don’t smoke anymore. However, from time to time, I’ll have a sneaky one. A sort of behind the bike shed, 1st floor girls’ toilet sort of cigarette. I love the one. I don’t desire a second one. Then it’ll be months before the urge meets up with opportunity again. One every so often, shouldn’t be too bad. No cigarettes is better, I’m sure, but I really enjoy that single moment.

  4. I was a two-pack a day smoker, but when I decided to quit, I just put them down and never picked them up again. I didn’t realize how lucky I was until I heard others talk about how difficult it was for them to quit. Congratulations to you for quitting, too.

  5. dreaming about smoking by smokers seems to be fairly common. though it is now almost 40 years since i quit, myself as smoker has appeared in recent dreams when i’m particularly stressed. just as the number of cigarettes smoked at anxious times would increase back in the day.

    have you noticed people whose voices tell you they are/were heavy smokers? maybe they smoked even more than i did. claude is absolutely on target: it is a serious addiction, one with much more social acceptance than drugs or alcohol.

  6. DITTO! I quit over 25 years ago and I still dream about smoking at least once a year. I know that if I had one cigarette tonight I would be back to 2 packs a day by the end of the weekend.

  7. When I was 19 I *wanted* to start smoking so I could have a husky voice just like Tina Turner!

    I smoked on and off — a year on, a year off — for years. I loved smoking, but I stopped the on/off cycle years ago, I don’t quite remember when.

    I was a big fan of Gauloise (bleu).

    When I have a drink it brings me back to those days and I want to have just one cigarette. But, like you, I think if I have one there is a very real chance of beginning again.

    Good for you, for knowing yourself well enough to kick the habit for good!

  8. I started smoking by the time I was 12. I grew up in North Carolina, where everybody smoked. By 18, I was easily smoking a pack a day. I remember that a pack of cigarettes at my North Carolina college cost 21 cents in about 1968.

    I quit smoking the first time in 1982. Then I didn’t smoke for about 10 years, but in the early ’90s the stress of work and the fact that people around me smoked got me started again. Thankfully, I never got really addicted the second time around and I could stop for months at a time without suffering too much. I finally quit for good just over three years ago.

    For good? What am I saying? If a doctor told me today that I had only a year or two to live, I would probably go out and buy a pack of cigarettes immediately.

    Such is the power of tobacco.

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