Here I was in the dentist’s chair. Everything in the surgery had changed, it was dark and gloomy, and my dentist, a nice young man, was not there. Instead, there was this woman who started looking at my gaping mouth, looked at me and said:
I have to check something out.
Whatever it was that she checked out, a couple of minutes later she said:
There is nothing I can do. You have cancer.
y heart sank and I started thinking that I had been there once and if I’d been able to take it once, I could take it a second time. My mind was full of questions, but whatever I asked she kept repeating as a leit-motiv that this was cancer. I asked her what my options were, but she said there were no options, it was cancer. I woke up sweating, with a knot in my stomach. It was 4 o’clock in the morning, and five hours later I had an appointment for a mammography. Turning and tossing in my bed after that nightmare, I kept thinking that it was the first time I had felt that worried about the results of the mammogram. I usually worry more about the uncomfort and pain associated with it than with the results.
o I started having a sense of foreboding. You see, I never remember dreams. I probably dream like everyone else, but usually, I sleep like a baby and don’t recall anything. So for the memory of a dream to stick like that, there had to be something true about it.
I turned on the light, got up and drank a glass of water and started thinking that for my next mammography, I would take some tranquillizer before going to bed. And then, it occured to me that it wasn’t too late to do that and took a quarter of a pill before going back to bed.
A few hours later, after the mammography itself had been done, here I was sitting in this closet, waiting for the doctor, who really a charming lady, to perform an echography on both my breasts and give me the results of the mammography. Everything turned out OK. But I will definitely remember, next year when it’s this time of the year to take a tranquillizer before going to bed. No need to spend another night like this.